The Mommy Mindset: Competition Among Moms? - iNeed a Playdate The Mommy Mindset: Competition Among Moms? iNeed a Playdate a Blog for Northeast Ohio Moms

8.18.2012

The Mommy Mindset: Competition Among Moms?

I sort of hate hanging around brand new mommies.  Well, the ones that talk on and on about their baby, which happens to be the only baby on earth.  Their way is best and they know all the right ways.  I did not like hanging around new mommies when I was a new mommy.  I am sure I am guilty of acting that way, but thankfully, like childbirth, I have forgotten.

As I started to join online communities and eventually blogging I tried to be a listener and not a know it all.  This is not easy because I do know a lot.  What I also realized is how competitive other moms are and everybody's opinion is right, not just mine.  Everybody can't be right and that is were the infighting comes into play.  What ever happened to - do what's best for you? 

We are moms.  We need to stick together and be an example, even if we don't agree.  This leads me to this Mommy Mindset...



Competition among moms. Why do you think it exists? Are you a competitive mom?


Lena: I am much more ambitious in work environment, than I am in a mommy army, but mainly because I know that mama drama and competitions are such a energy sucking hobby. I almost enjoy telling one of my friends that I got something new, because I know within the next couple weeks she will get something better. Is that bad?

Ashley: Not so much competitive as I like to see where my son is in comparison to other children his age. None of my friends have kids, so I admit, I'm an amateur when it comes to parenting. I'm always asking where other kids are in development in comparison to him. It helps me know what I should work on more or what he is doing great in. I do think competition exists though, which is a shame. I notice it a lot in my "mom groups".

Emily: I've noticed it a lot in my area. I find that moms are judging the "gear" that other moms have, the clothing the children wear, what kind of food the kids are eating, etc. Personally, I put my money towards things that are important to me & inline with my values. Having said that, I have a hybrid stroller and feed The Boy organic foods. But, I dress him for the playground in clothes from Target and Old Navy. I don't understand why there is so much judging, perhaps it stems from the judging that we all did as teens in high school?

Ghada: I don't get that kind of competition that you've described Emily. Maybe it comes from boredom. I find the mothers that are the most competitive about the gear and clothes are the ones that have always been that way in their own lives - the best clothes, the best phones, the best makeup, etc...Of course, I can't help but notice where my kids fit in compared to others in their growth, BUT I never turn it into a competition. Plus, I think with number 2 I am less concerned about where my kids fit in. They are happy, healthy and growing just fine!

Mary: I'm with Ghada - I am at a place where I may not seek as much approval from other moms as I did with my first but that is not say that I truly did in the first place. When my first was born, I was pregnant with five other woman in my office and out of them, one lost her baby, one became a great friend and one constantly wanted to compare our babies' growth and development. She would often try to bait me into comparing and sometimes I fell for it. It got to the point where I would not even mention my son when she was around. Eventually she finally stopped but then I joined the early childhood PTA and was thrust back into it. We should support each other, not tear each other down. :(

What are your thoughts?  Are you a competitive mom?


Thanks for participating Lena of Way2Goodlife, Ashley of Maryland Momma's Rambles & Reviews, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Ghada of Mama goes BAM, and Mary of I Need a Playdate.

Thank you

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