Welcome to the World of Lady Gaga, Baby Girl

Dear Sweet Baby Girl, 

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

I wanted to write you a letter and share with you some things I've learned.  I searched for a popular song to help express these thoughts and maybe relate to you better.

Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

One day you will meet a boy (or girl) and you may (or may not) fall in love.  I want to warn you there are times when you may...

Want your bad romance

To which I have to say...

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

You do NOT

Want your bad romance

Nor, should you ever settle for a bad romance and you should try as hard as you can to resist ever using one of the following statements...

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your love

You are better then that and other women (myself included) have done all of that all ready, they have taken on those things and I am here to tell you - nothing is free.

I want your drama

Tell me all about all of those awful people who will try to break you, hurt you or use you.  I will listen.  Be warned that someone may even try and use you with

The touch of your hand

but hopefully you will be strong and stay away.  I hope that you will never settle for someone who will say,

I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand

because you should be you.  Don't try to be someone you are not - at least not for very long, everyone experiments and that is okay.  Stay true to you.  Besides, beaches are just bad places to make out.  Sand gets everywhere!

Always remember,

I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

and never forget that

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you

But if any one claims...

I want it bad, your bad romance

They probably don't really mean that they want you and what they mean is more like

I want your love and

someone else, too.  Which then leads to 

I want your revenge

and that is never the solution.  Slashing someone's tires never works out they way you thought it would.

When you meet someone special your conversations will never and should never include:

You and me could write a bad romance
(Oh-oh-oh--oh-oh!)
I want your love and
All your lovers' revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

I beg you...

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

To try with all your heart to not to get

Caught in a bad romance

I don't want to hear you cry, Mama... 

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Caught in a bad romance

If it was possible...

I want your horror

all those awful, heartbreaking things that no one should have to go through but everyone does.  There are things that I would want to change to redesign in my life but won't because they are mine.  Even the worse things in my life I own, I made those choices and I stand by them.  It is for those reasons

I want your design

to be what you want.  You are an amazing, beautiful girl.  You deserve the best.

Should you ever fall in to the wrong crowd and meet Mr. Wrong I hope you find the courage to tell that person

‘Cause you're a criminal

for breaking your heart.  And if they say that they will not go anywhere

As long as you're mine

they could be a stalker or abusive.  Be careful of them.  They are not thinking,

I want your love

but trying to figure out another angle to keep you tethered to them.  Hopefully, a cop will never tell you that,

I want your psycho

and they have to tell that psycho it is it because of

Your vertigo stick

I hope your response to that psycho and his vertigo stick is

Want you in my rear window
Baby you're sick

and NOT

I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I have said this before but I feel it warrants repeating

You know that I want you

I pray that you never tell someone

'Cause I'm a free bitch baby!
And you know that I need you
I want it bad, bad romance

My sweet, sweet baby girl I leave you with one final thought

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

You do not

Want your bad romance

Or any one's for that matter

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Roma-roma-mamaa!
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

Accept that you may

Want your bad romance

and be prepared to

Walk, walk fashion baby

walk away!  When you do be sure to 

Work it

when you do

Move that bitch crazy

out of your life.

Welcome to the world, baby girl, of bittersweet crushes, heartbreak and eventually - true love.

I wanted to warn you that everyone will have had that one person to make you see how much better your life will be with out them.  When you meet them remember, that it does not have to be that way and you are so much better without them no matter how much you think you love them.  No one can be everything to you if you are not everything to yourself first.

Besides, your dad may harm them if they do hurt you and I really don't want him to go to jail for murder.  Orange is just not his color!

With all my love,

mom

PS... If you could wait till you are married - that would be great!  Unless, of course, they are the douche I warned you about.

PPS...  Dad thinks you should meet a nice girl.

PPPS... I am participating in Mama Kat's  - Pretty Much World Famous - Writer's Workshop.