I have no idea how to start today. I haven't been able to write or take pictures. I've felt lost. I've felt this way for awhile.
I've tried to avoid social sharing as much as I could. I started binge eating again. And, I've avoided going outside, sort of. I go to work, I worked out on occasion, but as far as excursions around town, they've been minimal.
I promise this is not a "feel sorry for me" post.
Like an ass, I went off my meds. I have panic disorder and I binge eat to cope. It wasn't always that way. I have phases. For awhile it was sleeping, then drinking, and even sex. Now, it's food.
We had to switch health insurance companies. I thought it would be okay. It was not. Lesson learned.
November was hard, too.
I'm one of those heartbroken Hilliary supporters. My bubble broke!
I stop following family and friends on Facebook. First, for all the awful messages and false stories. But also for the horrible things posted after he won. I even dread going to family events.
For the first time, in the twenty odd years I've known my husband, I was witness to the racist remarks that came all too easy from the mouths of strangers and family.
2016 was a wake-up call. It started out with such hope and promise. And, ended.
That was yesterday.
Today, I got my ass to the gym. I've eaten a whole lot of veggies and drank a ton of water. I plan to repeat it all tomorrow and the next and the next. Well, you get the idea.
I will not dwell on the negativity of others and I will strive to be a better person.
Tomorrow I'm planning for the Women's March on Washington D.C. My first march. I can't wait.
And, I will work on rebuilding the bridges that have been burning. Some of them anyway.
Besides writing more, I'm working on #365OMJ (as in Oh! Mary Johnson) on Instagram. One moment a day for a whole year! I don't guarantee they will all be great, but they will be true.
I hope you stay with me.
If all else fails there's always wine. I like whiskey. Maybe I should drink more of that.
