Stop Apologizing! 8 Things to Think About Before Saying, "I'm Sorry" - iNeed a Playdate Stop Apologizing! 8 Things to Think About Before Saying, "I'm Sorry" iNeed a Playdate a Blog for Northeast Ohio Moms

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1.14.2019

Stop Apologizing! 8 Things to Think About Before Saying, "I'm Sorry"

Stop Apologizing! 8 Things to Think About Before Saying, "I'm Sorry"

You know that friend who is always apologizing for something?

We all have that friend who has you questioning your ability to forgive because there is nothing to forgive. They just can't stop apologizing.

I'm not that person. I mean, I could be but I've been working very hard not to be that person. It's a slippery slope to go down when you start apologizing for just existing.

I became hyper-aware of this phenomenon when I found myself getting annoyed with a coworker when she apologized for apologizing. This was not a one-off occurrence, either. After several rounds of reassurance, I started brainstorming things to say instead of, "I'm sorry," when I'm not really sorry.

We say sorry way too often. It's not good for our self-esteem nor does it make us sound competent. And, if you really are still on the fence about eliminating sorry from your vocabulary - consider who is listening to you. Besides your boss, what example are you setting for your daughter, niece or any girls who look up to you?

8 things to consider before saying, "I'm Sorry."

1. Don't say anything

Filling in awkward silences or hesitations with "sorry" is not necessary. I have a stutter. I get stuck on a word. It's there, I want to say the word, but it trips out of my mouth clumsily.  I can easily apologize until I can force the word out. But, I'm not sorry. I can't help it. Even if it's not a stutter, maybe it's nerves that create an awkward moment, why apologize for basically thinking?

2. Offer a solution or resolution

Recognizing the need to be remorseful and offering a solution eliminates an empty apology. I ate your ice cream but I replaced it before you would miss it.

3. Ask for help

Some mistakes can be avoided with the right information. Even if it starts off as a way to make amends you learned an important lesson and the person you wronged knows that you took it seriously enough to not make the same mistake twice.

4. Acknowledge feelings

Hurt feelings exasperate negative situations. By acknowledging how someone else is feeling goes a long way to healing.

5. Say, thank you

Late all the time? Say, "thank you for waiting." Miss a deadline? Thank them for their patience and understanding as they wait for the completion.

6. Practice empathy

In times of sadness, hearing, "I'm sorry," can seem trite and dismissive. By showing interest in someone who is in pain and acknowledging the person's pain is better. Be encouraging and supportive while thanking them for opening up.

7. Embrace your nice words

If you don't agree with someone or something, don't apologize and explain. State firmly the facts and if you are wrong, ask for ways to improve. You can be polite without saying sorry.

8. Be sincere

If you have hurt someone, apologize. Apologizing because it's perceived as the right thing to do is exhausting. Accept responsibility for failure or a misstep and move on. So, something didn't go as planned - you just figured out a way not to do something.

Stop Apologizing! 8 Things to Think About Before Saying, "I'm Sorry"

Will you be able to say, "I'm sorry," less?


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