I was woefully unprepared. My babysitter clued me into what was happening with my body. When my mom picked me up after she got off work, she congratulated me and bought me a candy bar. She never really had 'the talk' with me.
In my mom's defense, I did get my period earlier than she expected. And, anything to do with sex made her uncomfortable to the point that she made it a joke. By the time I actually had sex, I thought of it as a joke, too. Something to check off a list of things to do as an adult.
About a month ago, my spawn had a yeast infection. Apparently, it's more common than I thought it would be in a seven-year-old. She's active and dances so her pediatrician wasn't surprised. It opened the door to a lot of vagina questions and answers. As well as how to take better care of her vagina.
Like I always tell her, "a clean vagina is a happy vagina!" I'm giving her nothing but the best advice.
So far, my spawn has come to me for help and asks questions. I mean, that's all you can really hope for, right? Open and honest conversations. Praying that it will continue into the teen years.
Of course, these conversations don't always go as planned or as expected. We aren't walking arm in arm on the beach with the sun setting in the distance. It's usually when one of us is on the toilet or trying to take a shower in peace.
While I try not to joke about it or get frustrated, it's bound to happen. I mean I am trying to teach a girl how to apply vaginal cream without it being too embarrassing for her. It helps when she listens. Having to repeat, "apply the cream to your vagina," can get old fast when you know she heard you the first fifty times. While I strive to use the correct body terms, I may have called out, "just put the cream on your pussy!"
The look on her face when she asked me about what I had said was downright comical. I'm not sure if she was able to really grasp what I said, as I quickly repeated what I said using the word vagina instead. I am sure in the distant future she is going to remember that moment. Hopefully not in therapy.
Thanks to an IUD, I may have a period once, every few years. It's pretty great. My time finally came and of course, my spawn was in the bathroom with me chatting while brushing her teeth. Before I flushed the toilet she happened to look down. She asked me if I was okay. I reassured her I was fine and asked her if she would like to talk about the various functions of our bodies. She made a gagging noise and declined my offer.
Fast forward a few hours and we were in the bathroom together again. At what age will I be able to pee alone?! This time she wanted to know why there was blood in the toilet.
I explained to her that when puberty hits, her uterus will clean itself once a month of unused eggs, and yadda yadda yadda. She looked at me like I had three heads. So, naturally, I kept going deliberately mistaking her look for confusion.
She stopped me, "But, is it normal?" she asked.
"Of course," I replied.
"That's all I need to know about that," and she left the bathroom.
I wonder if this is what it took for her to let me have the bathroom to myself?
