I cried all the way to work today.
I also cried in my boss' office.
I sort of want to cry right now.
My little boy is heading off to the big, bad middle school.
I'm not ready. He's not ready.
Okay, he is more ready than I am. I swear it was just yesterday that he started kindergarten.
Days like this, I hate being a mom.
They grow up!
Don't get me wrong. I hated being a mom when they were babies. You can keep the crying and diapers. I'll take them at this age right now.
Right now, my kids are at the perfect age. They (both) want to be with me and go places with me; they are so much fun to be around. I don't have to entertain them. We are the entertainment.
They have not gotten so old that we, as their parents, embarrass them. I still get hugs and kisses in public and they say, "I love you" with enthusiasm. I even let them sleep in my bed when they ask, I have no idea how much precious snuggling will be available.
We have actual conversations and share. They even have opinions, but still, for the most part, listen to me. Don't get me wrong. They are 50/50 listening, but I have good kids.
I feel like I have a small window of time left before this stage is over, especially with my soon-to-be-middle-schooler.
I took a half day to attend his last talent show of his elementary school career. I held it together until I was driving to work and got stuck by a train.
My spawn loved trains but h-a-t-e-d the loudness of them. So, he focused on the railroad crossing sign. He developed an appreciation of the signs, how they worked, and of course, the flashing lights.
And, Jack Johnson's Upside Down came on the radio as the train was passing.
I started to crack a little.
The next song was These are the Days.
I cried the rest of the way to work, through the parking garage, and didn't stop till I hit the elevator.
When I got off, Hey Jude was playing.
I started to get weepy again. Jude was his imaginary friend. I played that song a lot when he was little. Well, Beatles in general. Jude ultimately moved to France.
Have I prepared him enough for middle school? Will he be picked on? Will he fall behind? Will he be accepted? Will he make new friends, but keep the old?
I hate being a mom.
But, boy, I love my kids!