My hardest day as a mom was the day my son was born and not for the usual reasons. Sure labor and delivery were no joke and nursing sort of was a joke due to the nursing staff’s in ability to help but that was not was hard. The hard part literally walks in the door, by way of the nurse who wanted my baby boy to be looked at by a heart specialist because she heard what could be a heart murmur.
To give you a better picture of this day imagine a fairly large hospital room that could use a lot more light and also seems to be the room they kept extra furniture. Imagine a new mom, pretty drugged up and alone with (I think) a new born in the bassinet. I am not sure if baby boy was in the room with me at the time or if the nurse brought him to me before she took him off to see a specialist because I was that drugged up. After having my second baby, I have no idea why I was so out of it but I really was pretty out of it.
Now imagine the look of fear that was probably on my face. I also have to imagine this because I thought I was calm (because of the drugs) but baby’s pediatrician told me otherwise. I must have given consent because I did not see my baby for what seemed like eternity. In that short time, I thought of all of things I did wrong to have caused them to hear a murmur.
Did I mention that I was alone? My husband, who at the time was my, er, boyfriend (for lack of a better description), was moving into what was to be our apartment on the near west side all the way from his place on the far east side. Oh, and he was moving my stuff from my one bedroom to our new two bedroom. All of this the day after our son was born.
My family did not come to visit, nor did his and my mom was home bound. I was alone, in an inner-city, unfamiliar hospital, doped up and waiting to find out if I may have damaged my son because I was craving lattes from Starbucks.
Needless to say, there was nothing wrong. The nurse who listened to his poor little heart listened to it too soon. She later told me that if she had just waited an hour there would have been no need for the panic.
After that, nothing seemed all that serious. And, I mean nothing including colic, chicken pox, constipation and encopresis or autism. I knew we could handle anything.
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