Do we start off one way, learn to be another way only to slide backwards and revert to toddler stage? I feel like that is an insult to my toddler. I think she is a nicer person then I am. I need to look to my kids more to help me become a better person.
For instance, I got a call from my son's school on Monday. We moved out of his school's district. The cut off is half way down our street. If we found a house, ten or so houses North of our home, he would be in the same school he went to for kindergarten. I missed open enrollment by two weeks. I was heartbroken. I threw a temper tantrum. His birthday party was the day before and he just spent the day with those kids! I am also angry at myself for not researching it more but I figured... they where expecting him all ready. He will now be attending a new school. I told him on his birthday. I took the day off of work to hang out with him. His response? More friends! I took him to the school to check it out and play on the playground. His response? A better playground!
They have so much to teach me...
The top 10 things I need to learn from my children
1. A hug and a kiss can really help take the hurt away. No, it won't cure anything but small gestures mean the world to other people and we should do it more often and mean it.
2. Making the best of the situation. His response to the change in his school was that he gets twice the friends! My fear was that his current friends, teachers and the like all ready know him and like him how will he adapt? I feel foolish typing that sentence. Of course, he will be fine! He will have twice the number of friends!
3. Follow through means more then you think. Baby girl is starting to use the potty. Some times it goes well and other times she doesn't make it. That does not stop her from wanting to follow through with the task. She still wants to sit on the toilet, wipe, flush, wash hands... take a bath. Sure, she messed her diaper and that, to her, means a bath. Not sure why but she does. This is where I teach her about disappointment.
4. Sometimes you just have to do it yourself. Baby girl has been trying to do things on her own as soon as she realized that she could do things on her own. She will fight tooth and nail (literally, she is a biter and a pincher) for her right to do something on her own. She insisted on stairs once she figured out she could walk and that those stairs may lead somewhere else and she has to find out. It amazes me that she would rather do things for her self then let mommy help her and then other times she clings so fiercely to me that I feel like I may choke. What will I do when she really does not need me?
5. Keep trying. My son is learning to roller skate and use a scooter and they are both things that he just has to do. And he is working on it. Yes, he has scraped knees. Yes, I cheer when he catches himself before he falls. And, yes, I am getting this all on my flip cam.
6. Enthusiasm. They are brimming with it. They are so full of it the baby dances in circles and my soon-to-be-first-grader just dances. Everything is so exciting and new that they can't help but be excited and it is contagious.
7. That's mine. So this is one that I don't need to learn but it is one that I need to learn to be okay with saying. Yes, we want them to share but sometimes it is okay to let them put their foot down and say, "This is mine and I don't want to share - right now." How often do we not do it and wish we did or went along with something knowing it was not right. It is not necessary to share all the time and we all need to know when we should and should not.
8. Saying sorry will not make things okay but goes a long way to making things right. I make my son say it. I make him do something to make amends. He does it. He does not always understand but he does it. It is something I have to remember to do as well. Sometimes I may not feel it until it is said but I feel better once it is out. I know he does it as an automatic response but I also know that at least he gets that it should be an automatic response to when you make a mistake. And, I don't mean in a text or email. If he can do to my face then I can, too.
9. Simple things are really wonderful. Yes, a new car would be nice as would be more money and who would not want an exotic vacation, but those things are some times unrealistic or temporarily unattainable. Let's play with Legos and play dough until then... My son loves to bring me flowers (which are really leaves) and my baby girl will bend over backwards to help me sweep the floor or bring me a diaper. They don't quite get why we might not have extra money this week but they get that they can do something just as fun.
10. Ask for help. As I was writing this my soon-to-be-first-grader found me in the kitchen and said, "Mom, I think I need to see a psychologist." Now, I know he is exaggerating and he is more upset because he was sent to bed the night before for "accidentally" pushing his sister on the stairs (she did not fall) but he thinks he needs to see someone because of his nightmares. I told him I could be like a psychologist if you would like to talk to me. "Okay, but first we need a couch." We all need help at different times and sometimes it requires someone to listen and other times, well, a bit more then just listening. There are other times when he needs help building his lego city and there are times when he has to do it on his own. At least he will ask for help. It is something I need to do more of in my own life.
Oh, from the mouths (and actions) of babes can we learn to be better adults but we where once children... why did we stop behaving like children and become - adults?
This is another prompt from Mama Kat's - pretty much world famous - Writer's Workshop to make up for my childish one that I also posted...