It dates back to my first serious boyfriend in my twenties. He was bad for me. He was really bad for me on so many levels. And it was because of him that I distanced myself from many of my girlfriends - my girlfriends were right. They held on to their reassessment that I did not listen or that I was a bad friend and would not answer my calls after it was over. I guess they were really not my friends.
My other set of girlfriends drink and they party. Not that I am against drinking by any stretch of the imagination but they don't have kids or if they do they have grandparents or a baby daddy to dump the kids with while they drink to access. I don't drink that much anymore and one to many, "I can't because..." excuses got me knocked off the phone tree. I hope when the girls without kids have kids I will make the list again.
This is so not a pity party for me... I have good girlfriends. Some have moved away while others, well, others I just can't stand to be around because it is not a give and take relationship. I can only hear so much about someone's drama without them asking about my life or family. Then there are the wonderful friendships that I have sort of put on hold because of being pregnant (and stressed) and having the baby (and lack of sleep and stress). I only hope that now that the bebe is almost a year and I am starting to feel like me again I will not have ruined the friendships (again).
I have learned from being a bad friend, learned to let go of friends who just aren't friends and learned that some people really are only in your life for a short amount of time. I also really need to pick up the phone more often and reach out to those who I have lost touch with over the years.